


Just Breathe

by neko_kirin3104



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-27
Updated: 2013-08-27
Packaged: 2017-12-24 19:03:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/943531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neko_kirin3104/pseuds/neko_kirin3104
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sho-chan’s best is not enough, Satoshi-kun comes to comfort him. In silence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Breathe

Sho’s manager whispered a few words to him in passing, and his heart was instantly filled to the brim with concern.

_“He’s in the men’s room.”_

Satoshi didn’t need to ask what it was all about. He’d already heard from a number of people expressing their awe and concern over Sho’s piano performance and what happened backstage afterwards.

As much as he had wanted to rush to his partner’s side, pick the man up and hide him away until he’s strong enough to face the world again, Satoshi knew he had to keep a calm facade and stay focused on the next 24-Jikan segment.

But when Manager-san pulled him aside right after Nino’s VTR and said the words that made Sho’s current state all the more _real_ to him, his facade melted away completely and he couldn’t get faster enough to where his Sho-chan was.

Satoshi knew his usually self-possessed partner had his own way of coping with grief, keeping it all bottled up as much as possible until he could be alone to deal with everything by himself.

Even after years of being together, Satoshi still had to see this adult Sho break down and cry openly in front of other people. And hearing about how this man’s composure crumbled to his feet right before the students he had practiced so hard with and for, made his heart bleed.

He had sensed something was not quite right with Sho since Aiba’s segment this morning, when he stole a glance at his partner and saw the man in the brink of tears. Sho had assured him he was fine, but just a bit emotional this year. Even cracking a joke about ‘early mid-life crisis’ to give himself an excuse to laugh away his apparent distress.

Satoshi saw through the man’s pretenses, of course. Sho’s big round eyes had never been able to keep anything much from him, even as his partner tried to pull a prideful veil on them to hide his true self from everyone else.

Sho’s eyes were his window to the younger man’s heart. And they were telling him that his Sho-chan was overworked, sleep-deprived, overwhelmed with the _feels_ from the VTRs they had been showing all night, and very, very, _very_ nervous over his piano performance.

These past days, his partner had barely been hanging on to meager strings of consciousness to keep up with the demands of their jobs, where else could he get the strength to keep his proud guards up against the onslaught of heart-wrenching emotions in the last 24 hours?

He got to the men’s room and knocked gently three times. The faint sniffling sounds from inside almost made him barrel through the door, but he kept his calm, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning on the wall beside the doorframe to wait.

It didn’t take too long before he heard the sound of water splashing on the sink, followed by a rustle of movement on the other side of the door.

“Satoshi-kun?” Sho’s voice was soft, broken and hopeful.

Satoshi leaned closer to the wooden barrier and replied just as softly, “ _Hai_...”

The distinct click of the lock opening told him he could finally come in. He pulled the door open and closed it just as carefully behind him, his eyes never straying from the man glowering and sniffling at his own reflection on the mirror, hands leaning heavily on the edge of the sink.

He approached his partner, gingerly pulling the man’s right hand from the death-grip it had latched on the sink, and lovingly slipping his own hand through the gaps between the pale fingers that had just played the most beautiful music he had ever heard.

He didn’t say this, of course. It wasn’t what his partner needed to hear right now.

Or that he did his best and Satoshi was proud of him. That mistakes were part of every performance because they weren’t gods and they couldn’t be perfect.

If they had been younger, these were the words that would undoubtedly be trilling from his lips right now, in a desperate attempt to make his Sho-chan feel better.

But they weren’t kids anymore—

Sho sighed and finally welcomed the comforting warmth of their hands linked together by clutching on tightly. Satoshi’s lips twitched into a slight smile as he felt his partner lean against him, bracing himself with his free hand on the sink to support their combined weights.

Sho’s head lolled sideways, lightly resting on his shoulder. Their gazes met on the mirror, but neither of them said a word.

They stayed like this for some time, with Sho quietly sorting through his feelings while Satoshi just as quietly watched his face move through the motions—twisting into a pensive frown, relaxing into a wistful smile, and slipping into a look of despair with self-loathing flashing in his eyes.

He kept squeezing Sho’s hand as the man fell through the stages of his misery, all the while reminding his partner that Satoshi-kun was here, always _here_ , to hold him whenever he’s ready.

The anguished man finally began to relax, closing his eyes and letting out one huge sigh before shifting beside him and grumbling. “I could use a hug, you know.”

Satoshi chuckled softly and let go of his partner’s hand to open both of his arms for the now much-needed embrace. Sho willingly fell into them, burrowing his face into the nook of Satoshi’s neck, his warm breath causing the hairs to rise on the older man’s skin. “Thank you.”

They held each other like this for some time, quiet and still, until their heartbeats and breaths synchronized in mutual calmness.

Satoshi pressed his lips on the side of Sho’s neck, debating with himself whether or not to kiss his partner’s lips as well. He decided to save it for later. They would have all the time in the world when they got home.

He pushed Sho away slightly to look into his swollen, tear-streaked eyes, knowing it would be a while before he saw the man like this again. _Hoping_ it wouldn’t be too soon...

He reached out to tap Sho’s flushed cheek reassuringly, loving the smile it brought to his partner’s lips.

At an earlier time, Sho would be asking, _“How do you always do it?”_ right about now, and Satoshi would be hard-pressed on coming up with answers to make the man either sigh or laugh through the sticky remnants of his tears.

They were past that now. They didn’t need to say too much, do too much anymore to remind each other what being a couple was all about.

He guessed the heart really did know what it always ought to know—

“We’ll wait for you on stage, ne?” he smiled.

Sho nodded eagerly, the sight of it thrilling Satoshi’s heart as he stepped out and closed the door behind him.

  **#**

**Author's Note:**

> written for [je-prompts](http://je-prompts.livejournal.com/profile) for the prompt _Window_
> 
> also inspired by the crying Sho gifs @ Tumblr (╥_╥)


End file.
